This is an advanced practice. What is your experience of the whole? An open space is the experience of the whole. How well do you experience the whole? This is as different as just seeing a slice of an orange and seeing the whole orange itself. Or seeing just the orange and then seeing the journey it took to reach your hand from its tree.
Stand across from someone, look at him or her, see their eyes. Consider ‑ this is a whole person. Regardless of how they act or what you see and experience, this is a whole person! When you judge someone negatively, when you experience them as less-than – you are touching a fragment. You surround yourself with a story that blocks your experience of connection.
When you see someone as a sex object, a class of person, old, young, mother, father, slave, in-charge, less-than, better-than — you are missing the whole. Any form of naming, even positive, naming someone’s body beautiful, can just as easily cause you to miss the whole. If you see someone just as a physical body you miss the whole – for certainly they have an emotional body, a mental body, a spiritual body. Ha! The more bodies you notice when you see someone, then you are closer to holding the whole.
Let’s shift from a person to the planet. The planet that you live upon is by its very nature an open space. Would you agree with this? Would you also agree that the prime way many people interact with the planet is by trying to create closed spaces? A primary activity for humans throughout recorded history involves dividing and re-dividing the planet into many small pieces and claiming ownership. Of course there are some exceptions, people who devote their lives to preserving and maintaining large open spaces of land that are healthy and flourishing.
So think for a moment how do you experience the whole? Let me suggest a situation for consideration:
In a conflict (in which you are not involved) can you see both sides? Can you see a third side? Can both sides be of equal validity? Are you able to not judge either side, not make a decision who is right or wrong?
Can you see the origins of the conflict? Are you able to see how other people, not directly involved in the conflict participate: 1) either by causing it, 2) forcing a side to be chosen, or 3) supporting the disagreement to continue or stay stuck? During a conflict if someone has hurt another, are you able to hold this? Remember holding is not excusing, nor is it judging, rather holding sees an open space.
Now suppose you are involved in the conflict and have chosen a side — can you listen to the other person's ideas and feelings? Will you consider his or her solutions as valid? Can you set aside the need to make an immediate decision and ponder your position and the other position? Will you allow someone to ask you questions? Are you able to bring forward some curiosity, genuine curiosity about why people see the situation differently than you do or why they want another solution?
The Practice
Any time you have an experience assume there is always more to notice. Apply this to any experience you are having. 1) Go beyond your immediate experience and notice more. 2) See other people – say to yourself, “I am dealing with a whole person. Invite yourself to see them as whole.” 3) In a conflict allow both sides to be valid.
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