Keeping secret is
not helpful to your soul or if you prefer your energetic self. Secrets deplete
your energy and narrow your sharing. There are many forms and colors of
secrets. Not all secrets are dark. Now you may be thinking of exceptions, good
reasons to keep secrets, so let us agree that this might be so and see what we
can learn together.
Children should not be made to keep secrets. This runs counter to the nature of their being. The energetic vehicle, of who they are, is not made to keep secrets. Yet in families children often see, hear and sense things that are not discussable. Or they are quickly taught not to speak the truth about how they are truly feeling or what they see. The tribes and children around them say – “Do not get anyone in trouble, don’t be a tattle-tale, keep quiet about bullying or cheating.” So, they witness harms and do not speak. This is not good for their growth.
Some children cannot speak of their dreams, visions, intuitions — the deeper realms of sensing. Nor are they able to share their aspirations because their parents have decided who they should be. Carey does not speak of being a musician, for it is decided she will be a doctor. Kevin keeps secret his love of writing and poetry, because he would be criticized. In some communities young girls are told not to speak at all. What is the grace of this to bind a child’s voice?
As people grow up they learn about many colors of secrets. The largest variety is keeping secret concerning what nourishes you. Leticia and Mary do not speak with simple ease about how they wish to be nourished. When asked about their relationship they will say, “Oh, everything is fine.” Mary would like more cuddling. Leticia would like to go out dancing more. Karl would like more listening. David would like more appreciation. Stephanie would like more help and cooperation. Tell me what would you find more nourishing in your relationships?
The next form of secrets are shaped by undiscussables. These are well known, but invisible lines and rules that say, “we will not talk about this!” John would like to share his new ideas but does not feel invited to do so. One does not speak about the side effects of a decision for fear of not being a team player. We do not discuss personal matters at work, even though Davi’s wife is dying. Often undiscussables shape around destructive behavior, someone abusing their body or spirit. These “closed matters” affect sharing and limit possibilities.
Secrets are colored darker when agreements are broken and then “the breaking” is hidden. This form of secret depletes energy and creates frozen pockets, limiting the experience of connection —as if a part of the physical body went numb,
The Practice
1) Ask to be nourished. Experiment with sharing how you would like to be nourished.
2) Challenge undiscussables. Rarely does anyone benefit from these rules. They freeze energy and much can be transformed. Respect that some may not wish to participate.
3) Change your agreements. When you find yourself unable to keep an agreement, speak the truth of this. If you have broken agreements, make amends. Share the secrets you are keeping in some manner so you can release them.
4) Reveal yourself! This is when you shine most brightly. Take this principle to heart when in doubt reveal yourself. Most people will treat you kindly for this. Reveal your dreams, aspirations, talents and gifts.
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