If many will speak the truth
frequently, a transformation would occur in your relationships and your
communities.
Young children, until they are taught otherwise, naturally speak the truth. They are clear about what they need, want, feel, think, experience, and observe. You grew up naturally speaking the truth. How is it for you today?
There are many reasons that people do not speak the truth. Chief among these reasons are – 1) fear, 2) discomfort, 3) the teachings of the community, and 4) lack of invitation.
- I did not speak the truth because I did not want to hurt his feelings.
- I did not speak the truth because no one would listen to me.
- I did not speak the truth because of the rules.
- I did not speak the truth to protect others from their feelings about my words.
- I did not speak the truth to protect myself from my own discomfort at your reactions.
For example, a child is bullied at school. He does not speak the truth because he is afraid it will increase the bullying. He does not speak the truth at home because of embarrassment and fear of rejection. His father’s voice rings in his mind to fight back. Those who notice the bullying do not speak, because of fear that the bully will turn on them. They are also taught not to be a tattletale and report others. Some think this is just the way of childhood – bullies and children being bullied. The school will say they teach otherwise and point to their policies but the create no invitation to speak. They know the fear is present. They know the rule of the community is not to tell on one another. An invitation repeated, rich and compelling is needed.
These same patterns learned in childhood reveal themselves in your relationships with one another. There are more experiences and rules that teach you not to speak the truth, than there are invitations.
Speaking the truth begins with invitation. If you want the truth to surround you then invite it repeatedly. Parents, teachers, leaders take heed if you seek the truth you must develop your invitation, your capacity for listening and your ability to receive the truth.
An essential aspect of human growth involves developing your voice by speaking the truth. Many adults are still developing their voice and need help and support, especially women. In many communities young girls are given many less chances than boys to develop their voice. This happens in their families too. Remember also that half the world lives in a community where their voices are suppressed. Your communities will transform when women bring their voices forward.
Now speaking the truth is not being right or absolute or knowing what is best. When one speaks the truth it is her or his truth – what she sees, notices, senses, experiences, feels, wants, needs, thinks, or believes. Speaking the truth makes an offering to be received in deep respect, even if it is given in a messy or inconvenient manner.
There are many forms of speaking the truth. The most familiar form is when someone says what everyone knows and chooses not to speak aloud. At this time, one of the chief characteristics of speaking the truth is that many are awake to the truth and choose not to speak of it. When this silence occurs, it can severely limit opportunities for growth and healing.
Further your practice of speaking the truth by strengthening and increasing your invitation to others to speak the truth around you.
Next, notice when you would like to speak and do not.
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