Who Are You Really?

Most people are often not themselves.

In pondering this idea and exploring when and how you might not be yourself, there are three patterns to consider.

1) You are filled with the voices of other people. This can be to a large or small degree. Other people’s energy lives inside you and when it is time to speak their voices answer for you. This pattern can occur for several reasons. As a child you are very open, and those around you (parents, teachers, community) filled you with answers, rather than helping you develop your voice, by offering to you wonderful questions. Children should never be filled up. Also children and adults who have been harmed, shaped by violence physical or emotional often have the energy of another inside them.

2. There is no invitation. The second pattern why people are often not themselves is because in their relationships or communities (work, neighborhood, school, social, religious) they are not invited to be themselves. This can be a very active process. People are told how to be with consequences, if they do not comply. They are disinvited from bringing who they really are forward.

3. Fear and not trusting yourself. People are often not themselves because someone has introduced them to fear. Fear is the great limiter. Everyone is who they are now and also a wise self, full of light. Simply, people do not allow their wisdom and light to shine through. They do not invite their wiser self to appear because they have been told or taught in some manner that they are less-than.

Consider these practices to try:

• If you want to be give someone a gift, invite her to reveal something about herself and create a space where it is safe for her to reveal. Often one invitation is not enough. So be persistent and respectful.

• Allow yourself to be “touched” by someone and communicate to her how you are touched, when she reveals herself. There is always something or someone emerging in your living space that is an opportunity to be touched. Ask yourself – “What is waiting to touch me?”

• Practice releasing energy that is not yours. Click here to download a practice of releasing.

• When you are ready reveal something about yourself.

 

Click here to receive this in your email each week or type in
http://tinyurl.com/ideastoponder

Comments

[Michael Marlowe]

http://psp.sagepub.com/content/23/4/363.full.pdf+html

In 1997 a psychologist Arthur Aron explores the power of revealing, though his language and approach is of and from the field of psychology make no mistake it is about the energetic movement of Revealing Yourself and the principal that Everyone is Connected.

He developed 36 questions for two or more people to share with one another and reveal themselves. The questions are arranged to ask for more revealing in the later questions.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”

Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.